Senior Citizens Lament

I thought I’d let my doctor check me

‘cause I didn’t feel quite right,

All those aches and pains annoyed me and

I couldn’t sleep at night.

He could find no real disorder,

But he wouldn’t let it rest.

What with Medicare and Blue Cross,

It wouldn’t hurt to do some tests.

To the hospital he sent me,

Though I didn’t feel that bad.

He arranged for them to give me

Ever test that could be had.

I was fluoroscoped and cystoscoped,

My aging frame displayed,

Stripped upon an ice cold table

Where my gizzards were x-rayed.

I was checked for worms and parasites,

For fungus and the crud,

While they pierced me with long needles,

Taking samples of my blood.

Doctors came in to check me over,

Probed and pushed and poked around

And to make sure I was living, they

Wired me for sound.

They finally concluded their results that

Filled up more than a page,

What I have will someday kill me,

My affliction is old age!