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How old is Grandpa???
Stay with me -- the answer is at the end and you may be quite surprised!
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events. The
grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and things in general.
He asked grandfather how old he was.
The Grandfather replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:
' television '
penicillin '
polio shots ' frozen foods ' Xerox ' contact lenses ' Frisbees and ' the pill
There were no: '
credit cards ' laser beams or ' ball-point pens
Man had not invented: ' pantyhose '
air conditioners '
dishwashers '
clothes dryers '
and the clothes
were hung out to dry in the fresh air ' man hadn't yet walked on the moon
Your Grandmother and I got married first, . . . and then
lived together. Every family had a father and a mother.
Until I was 25, I called every man older than
me, "Sir". And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, "Sir." We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers,
daycare centers, and group therapy. Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense.
We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege. We thought fast food was
what people ate during Lent. Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.
Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started. Time-sharing meant
time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums. We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. We
listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios. And I don't ever remember
any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey. If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk.
The term 'make out' referred to how you did on your school exam. Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee
were unheard of. We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice-cream cones,
phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel. And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your
nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards. You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, . . . but who could
afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.
In my day: ' "grass" was mowed, '
"coke" was a cold drink, '
"pot" was
something your mother cooked in and '
"rock music"
was your grandmother's lullaby. '
"Aids" were
helpers in the Principal's office, ' " chips" were pieces of wood,
' "hardware" was found in a hardware
store and ' "software" wasn't even a word.
And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby.
No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap... and how old do you think I am? I bet you have this old man in mind...you
are in for a shock!
I am only 59 years old!
Just in case you weren't feeling
too old today, this will certainly change things
The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were
born in 1992. They are too young
to remember the first space shuttle blowing up on liftoff.
Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
Bottle
caps have always been screw off and plastic.
The CD was introduced the year before they were born.
They
have always had an answering machine.
They have always had cable.
They cannot fathom not having a remote
control.
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
They
never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
They don't
know who Mork was or where he was from.
They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or
"de plane, Boss, de plane".
They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.
McDonald's
never came in Styrofoam containers.
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.
Music: The Greatest Love Of All
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