of reaching 60 and older! > > 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. > 2.In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. > > 3. No one expects you to run----anywhere. > > 4.People call at and ask, did I wake you? > > 5.
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. > > 6.There is nothing left to learn the hard way. > > 7. Things you buy now won't wear out... > > 8.You can eat supper at > > 9.
You look for your glasses, only to realize they're on your head. > > 10.You get into heated arguments about pension plans. > > 11.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. >
> 12.You quit trying
to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. >
> 13. You sing along with
elevator music. > > 14.Your eyes won't get much worse. > > 15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. > > 16.Your joints are more accurate than the meteorologists at the National Weather Service. > > 17.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. > > 18.Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
OH! And don't forget this bit of advice. Never take a laxative, and a sleeping
pill, on the same night!