The Perks of 60's and Beyond

The Good Times

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>
The perks of reaching 60 and older!

>

> 1.
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

> 2.
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
>
> 3.
No one expects you to run----anywhere.

>
> 4.
People call at
9 pm and ask, did I wake you?
>
> 5.
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

>
> 6.
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

>
> 7.
Things you buy now won't wear out...

>
> 8.
You can eat supper at
4pm.
>
> 9.
You look for your glasses, only to realize they're on your head.

>
> 10.
You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
>
> 11.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
>
> 12.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

>
>
13. You sing along with elevator music.
>
> 14.
Your eyes won't get much worse.
>
> 15
. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
>
> 16.
Your joints are more accurate than the meteorologists at the National Weather Service.
>
> 17.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
>
> 18.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

 

 

OH!  And don't forget this bit of advice.  Never take a laxative, and a sleeping pill, on the same night!

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Music: Stagger Lee