Two blondes were walking down the street when they saw a compact laying on the sidewalk. One blonde picked it up, opened
it and said " this girl looks famililar."
"Let me see" said the other blonde and looked at the compact. "Silly...that's me!"
Hey, don't get me wrong....I love blondes. I have always loved blondes. Most of my girlfriends were blonde.
My first wife was blonde, my two sons are blonde. My wife wears a long blonde wig often....heck, I've even had several blonde
cats! However...........there's no joke like a blonde joke. The image conjured is sublime. Here are just a few of my
There are many myths about Blondes which circulate and here we wish to correct some.
Blonde beards grow faster than darker beards.
In Finland in 1998, a group of Blondes became so fed up and disillusioned with the treatment of Blondes, that they formed
the: International Blondes Association.
Many people believe all Swedish women are blonde, that Sweden is populated by blonde bombshells more than any other country.
However, True Blondes make up only approximately 50% of Sweden's 9 million population.
Recently, mummified Caucasians up to 4,000 years old were discovered in China's northwestern province of Xinjiang. The
dried corpses have the long noses, deep-set eyes, and long skulls typical of Caucasians. Some even have blonde hair! The 113
corpses appear to have been part of a definite settlement.
A silly story often ciculates that Intelligent People have more Zinc and Copper in their hair. Brown and Red is a Copper
Color, so this explains why blondes are dumb? This myth is ridiculous.
A blonde head of hair has usually many more strands than red or dark haired heads.
Artists frequently portrayed their subjects as blonde, even when history belied the point, Phillips writes, noting that
the artist Tiepolo, for example, depicted Cleopatra with strawberry blonde curls.
The most popular doll in the history of the world "Barbie" is Blonde.
Supermarket shoppers prefer Blondes as cashiers. A UK based Somerfield Shoppers Survey, found blondes were much busier
than their darker haired co-workers. Apparently, the research stated that Blondes appeared much calmer
Blondes can be hilariously entertaining........
A blonde comes home from school and askes her Mother, " Mom is it because I have blonde hair that I am the smartest
girl in the third grade?"
Yes, answered Mother.
"Mom, is it because I have blonde hair that I can count better than anyone in the whole school?"
Yes, answered Mother.
"Mom, it is because I have blonde hair that you let me drive to school when all the other kids have to take the
No, answered Mother. It's because your'e seventeen!
A blind man walks into a female bar by mistake. sits down, orders a drink and asks the bar tender if she
would like to hear a great blonde joke. The room fell silent.
"I see that you are blind, so before you tell your blonde joke there are four things you should know.
1- I am six feet tall, weigh 200 pounds and have blonde hair.
2- The woman sitting beside you is also blonde, is bigger than me and knows karate.
3- The woman who owns this bar has blonde hair and hates men.
4- There is a blonde woman playing pool that is a champion wrestler.
Now, are you sure you want to tell your blonde joke in here?
" Naw, I guess not." said the blind man. " I don't have time to explain it to all four of you!"
Q: How does the blonde car pool work? A: They all meet at work at 7:45.
Q: How do you know that a fax came from a blonde? A: There is a stamp on it.
Q: What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you? A: Pull the pin and throw it back!
A young brunette
goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor.
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes
her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really
a brunette, are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
On a plane bound
for New York the flight
attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have
a first class ticket. The blonde replied, 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving.'
Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak
with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section.
Again, the blonde
replied, 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm
The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do.
The captain said,
'I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this.' He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's
ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to herself, 'Why didn't anyone just say so.'
the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat.
pilot replied, 'I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York.'
A blonde and a redhead
met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the news. A man was shown threatening
to jump from the BrooklynBridge.
The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead
replied, 'I'll take that bet!'
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed.
redhead said 'I can't take this, you're my friend.'
The blonde said 'No. A bet's a bet'.
So the redhead said
'Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the news, so I can't take
The blonde replied, 'Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!'
Blonde Ice Fishing
This blonde really wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally,
after getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy footstool,
she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly---from the sky---a voice boomed, "THERE
ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino,
and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH
UNDER THE ICE!" The blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool,
and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, even louder: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER
She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?"
The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER!"
A blonde teenager, wanting
to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a 'handy-woman' and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do
neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. 'Well,
I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,' he said, 'How much will you charge me?' Delighted, the girl quickly responded,
'How about $50?' The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.
that day, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. 'You're finished already?' the startled man asked. 'Yes,' she
replied, 'and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.' Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the
$50.00 and handed it to her, along with a ten dollar tip.
'And by the way,' the blonde added, 'it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus.
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps
out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.
The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name
is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the
truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.
the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing
some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the third
red light, the same thing happens again.
All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the
truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out
of the truck, and runs back to the blonde..
He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says...
my name is Mark. It's winter in W.Va. and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"